


Little Terror’s

by Suryallee



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Chibi Dwarves, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Lots of Fluff! You have been warned, M/M, Other, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-28 16:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suryallee/pseuds/Suryallee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or; How Bilbo and Gandalf became fathers for one day of a group of Thirteen Dwarves quite unexpectedly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stormwind13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormwind13/gifts), [my lovely Beta](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+lovely+Beta), [as excuse for not having finished my third chapter on my other story by now ^^](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=as+excuse+for+not+having+finished+my+third+chapter+on+my+other+story+by+now+%5E%5E).



> Ok, so this is most likely utter Crack but I don’t care! It had to be written down before it would burst my poor head and it did interfere with my current story writing, so go and sue me if you want to. This is what happens when a authoress does not sleep enough and drinks too much coffee, because she had to work overtime and finds no Bilbo/Bofur story to read online to relax, that she doesn’t know already and has read a trillion times before.

Little Terror’s,  
Or; How Bilbo and Gandalf became fathers for one day of a group of Thirteen Dwarves quite unexpectedly. 

“This has to be a nightmare! What in the name of the Valar happened to them, Gandalf!?!” 

All had been well with Bilbo…well as well could get he supposed, when he had fallen asleep in Beorn’s house in between a group of Dwarves. Very much adult…well, more or less in some cases…but still, Grown Up Dwarves! 

He was awoken rather cutely from a tiny looking Dwarvling with messy dark curls and big cerulean eyes that had one thumb stuck in his mouth while a decidedly dirty looking little hand patted softly at his face. Next to the little sprite sat another, slightly older Dwarvling with Blond hair and familiar blue eyes that had one hand fisted into the first ones oversized clothing that looked suspiciously like the under tunic that Kili had worn when he had gone to sleep and his other hands thumb stuck firmly in his mouth too. 

The latter little one was stack naked. 

Groaning, Bilbo closed his eyes again, and if only in the faint hope that this, had to be a dream and that ,he would wake up soon…alas, it was not to be. They snapped open right away again, when another Dwarvling suddenly choose to use his stomach as a seat! That the little menace looked a bit too much like a little version of Thorin Oakenshield to his likening and had Bilbo up and screaming for Gandalf in under a minute. 

Two hours later, Bilbo was short from strangling Gandalf. 

Two hours, of fighting down a band of Dwarvling’ s into bathing and keeping clean afterwards. Feeding them, whilst looking out that they would not start a new food fight and berating Gandalf for not warning them to not drink a certain Ale of a certain shapeshifter, at the same time. 

Luckily, Bilbo had been too tired to join their happy drinking feast last night and so, had escaped the spell that was now placed on his company members.  
Sadly, that made him now the official babysitter of said Dwarves that had him wishes to have staid in his cozy little home in the Shire! Since, as it looked to Bilbo, little Dwarves turned out to be a handful to babysit. Always getting into trouble, like little Took Hobbitling’s and prone to causing just as much mischief everywhere with ease as the aforementioned Tookling’s he did know. They were lots more energetic as little Hobbits and louder too and Beorn had not been happy to learn that Gandalf had forgotten to tell Thorin and Co about that particular ale beforehand. 

Currently Bilbo had to separate Dwalin and Nori, again. 

The two seemed to love it to pull at each others whiskers until one cried out and that just wouldn’t do, since it also tended to end up in crying fits, fistfights and name callings in the end as it had done so before a few times in the last few hours. Settling Nori back next to his brothers, Bilbo addressed an equally stressed looking Gandalf who currently tried to keep Thorin from sneaking out on him… for a second time. 

“How long until they are back to their normal charming self’s, oh great Wizard!?” 

Said Wizard barely spared Bilbo a glare before he grumbled something into his beard whilst he sat the pouting Thorin down at the table again with one arm and fished after a surprisingly fast crawling Balin with the other at the meanwhile. 

The latter had nearly managed it by now to reach the doors. 

“Sometime along this day or after the next night, I…Umpf! Please do not pull on my beard again, little Dori! At least I believe so, Bilbo.” Another yelp of pain escaped him when Dori promptly choose not to listen and tucked yet again…hard, to get his attention. 

Looking around, Bilbo fast noticed it that the formerly youngest of the group of Dwarves, Ori, Kili and Fili were the easiest to manage. 

Reduced to no more than swaddling babies in the wake of the magic that was woven into the specific Ale that had caused the mess in the first place. They weren’t the problem, easily distracted with the toys that Bilbo found in Bofur’s pockets when he had folded the clothes of them all… but the older ones were another story to tell! Specifically told; Thorin, Dwalin Gloin, Bifur and Nori, who seemingly had nothing else as mischief running through their little devious minds. 

Balin was relatively easy to handle along with Dori, Oin and Bombur. 

He fast found out that these four just wanted to be left alone… well, not too alone or they would come looking, feeling abandoned and crying. But alone enough to play or read silently as it was in Balin’s and Oin’s case, or in Dori’s and Bombur’s case, to bake little sand cakes in the middle of Beorn’s yard under the watchfully eyes of the shapeshifter’s animal friends and Beorn himself. 

Thorin, Dwalin, Gloin, Nori and Bifur on the other hand had constantly tried to get away to play warrior with sticks and everything else that they could get their little hands on in the surrounding woods. With Gandalf hot on their tails to keep them out of trouble. Making a mess out of themselves and the poor Wizard in the progress. 

Bilbo’s first deed done, once he awoke, was to hide away the various deadly weapons from the curios fife terrors, seeing them eying the arsenal lying around. 

All run around in the house, more or less naked as the day they were born since none of their usual clothing fit the tykes anymore. It spared Bilbo mercifully from it to have to redress them all the time. He had fastened some kind of smallclothes for them all out of rags that Beorn kindly had provided from somewhere. Luckily, it was late summer and warm enough outside or they would have been in trouble! 

And Bofur? 

He had been the easiest to manage from the entire troupe of little troublemakers, seemingly content to just follow Bilbo around wherever he went and talking softly to him in Khuzdul that Bilbo did not understand. Grapping his hand or fisting his hands into Bilbo’s clothes, hanging himself on Bilbo’s back when he crouched down and seating himself into Bilbo’s lap to nestle up to the Hobbit whenever Bilbo sat down for a second. He once even gave the startled Hobbit a sloppy wet smooch on the face, that had Bilbo laughing and hug him in return. The tyke promptly smiled and snuggled closer.  
He wouldn’t leave Bilbo alone…not even when the Hobbit needed to go to the privy! He stood loudly wailing and kicking the door outside until Bilbo opened the door again. 

“Stop this nonsense at once, Thorin Oakenshield! Give Gloin his hair clasp back immediately and stop to harass the others or you will get no dessert!” Bilbo’s strict voice left for no argument. Bizarrely enough, the currently chibified King under the Mountain did as he was told with a huff and than sat down with a pout. The older ones had all been reduced to an age of maybe fife to six human years whilst Ori, Kili and Fili now looked like two to three years old toddlers. 

The Durin brothers seemed content with it to just sit on either side of Ori for the most of the time, all three softly babbling in what Bilbo thought to be baby Khuzdul to each other, or patting the others, or simply crawl all over the others…or to be feed by Bilbo, like as in right now.  
They had refused to let Gandalf feed them. 

All three had wailed like little Ringwraiths, as Gandalf had called it, until Bilbo came… the moment they saw him all three stopped, smiled, and cooed at Bilbo in unison. Gandalf had muttered under his breath seeing the little devils behave for the Hobbit but left it at that and minded the older ones.  
Bilbo watched Bifur, whose axe seemed to have shrunk with him, harass Gandalf into submission until the Wizard gave it up and hoisted him up on one arm with another low grumble. Bilbo let a sigh escape and feed Kili another piece of neatly sliced bread with honey whilst avoiding it skillfully to be grabbed by the sticky fingers of Fili. Bofur sat once again in his lap and ate rather neatly his share in silence, one hand fisted tightly into the hem of Bilbo’s garments. 

This would be loooong hours until all became normal again! 

When evening came, Bilbo sported a few new bruises, and Gandalf sported a lot untidy braids woven messily into his long beard hair. At least the braiding kept Thorin, Gloin and Dwalin busy long enough so they had a short pause from the eventful day. 

Little Ori was still held captive by the Durin duo with the addition that Dori and Nori had vacated to the group of cute toddlers with the papers and coals that Bilbo had found in the home of the shapeshifter. The drawing kept them both occupied. The three toddlers currently took an afternoon nap in between the two older Dwarves, all clutching to each other in their sleep. 

Bilbo wished he were an artist so he could capture the cute picture that they presented! 

Bofur still clunk faithfully to him. He had even helped him make sandwiches for the ever-hungry group of little pest’s and one time he had caught Bifur for Bilbo, when the tyke had tried to get away from a sponge down. 

As weird as it was, the entire troupe of little menaces did not listen to any word that Gandalf said but once Bilbo raised his voice, even Thorin could suddenly remember some manners and behave. It had the Wizard arch a brow at Bilbo while Bilbo shrugged and ignored the questioning look from Gandalf with ease. He didn’t know either why they behaved for him and not for Gandalf. 

So far, they had an eventful day almost fully behind them. 

Dwalin had nearly fallen into the deep river outside on his adventures with Thorin and Nori. He had to be rescued from Gandalf who in turn slipped on the river stones and fell in instead and cussed up a storm with a bawling Dwarvling in his arms once he got out again. Only to be hissed at from Bilbo for the cussing. 

Gandalf just handed him the sobbing Dwalin over with another glare and stomped inside to change into dry clothes. After successfully calming down Dwalin and returning him to his now howling brother Balin who had been scared from the entire event, he had the duo follow him around too.  
Thorin nearly was stung by one of Beorn’s Bees when he tried to get to their honey… Bilbo just barely managed to rescue the little King from their anger and was attacked as a substitute. Still, he only gave the boy a smaller lecture when he saw Thorin tear up a little after seeing Bilbo grimace at the pain of the sting of the huge Bee. 

Another little Dwarf begun to follow Bilbo none too subtly around. 

Nori became friendly after Bilbo made him a strawberry dessert that he wanted badly and for the rest of the day he got all kinds of presents from the cheeky little Dwarf in return. A worm here, a stone there, Thorin’s pipe weed that he had liberated from the packs but when he finally brought Bilbo a tress of Gandalf’s beard with a triumphant grin, Bilbo had to sit him down and explain to him why one shouldn’t cut off the hair of Wizards meanwhile Gandalf glared mightily down at them both. 

A seeable uneven tear now in his beard were the tyke had managed to slice a part off with a kitchen knife ‘borrowed’ from Beorn’s table when Gandalf was skillfully distracted from Dwalin and Balin. 

From there on, Nori slyly resorted back to bring Bilbo animal wildlife and stones again.  
Bifur managed to burn Gandalf’s hat when he tried to roast it on a stick over the fire pit whilst no one was looking after the silent little Dwarf and Kili managed it somehow to topple the water jug all over Fili at a time.  
Dori nearly fell down the staircase to the cellar in the house when he got too curios. 

Gandalf had to board it up afterwards so not another one of the group got too curios too and actually managed to fall down completely. Fili did pee insolently on Beorn’s huge bed what had the shifter scowl at the wet bedding later and Kili tried to eat up Bilbo’s left big toe when he got too hungry. Hence why Bilbo wobbled awkwardly at the present. 

And if that wasn’t enough for one day, Gloin got stuck inside the bowel of the restroom when he crawled onto the big thing to pee and slipped in by accident. Gandalf and Beorn had to destroy the bowel to get the madly howling boy out again.  
What ended into a headed debate between Beorn and Gandalf… outside, because Bilbo’s livid glare send both angry men running when they begun to cuss in frontage of the impressionable little ones. 

Ori crawled at one point under the planks of the bedding place and had to be coaxed out again with cakes, Balin nearly ate a poisoned mushroom handed to him innocently by Dori, Oin painted Bifur green with some leaves and both had to be bathed, over again. 

Bilbo heaved a sigh; with a little luck, the day would end soon and all would revert back to their true selves, because he did not think that he would survive another day of Dwarf sitting if not! 

Dinner ended in another food fight, started by Dwalin and Dori, that in turn ended into another force bathing of thirteen slippery Dwarvlings for Bilbo and Gandalf. In the end, Bilbo had to tuck them all in and tell the entire troupe a made up bedtime story about an evil Dragon that was slain by a mighty prince and his heroic companions (All dwarves, naturally) to keep them in bed and make the group fall asleep. 

Afterwards he tiptoed out of the sleeping area after loosening Bofur’s dead grip on him to finally sit down tiredly near the fire to have a well-deserved smoke. The brats had worn him out! 

Bilbo and Gandalf looked wearily at each other over the fire in the now, silent hall. 

Both looked as if they had come home fresh from a war zone, littered with cuts, bruises, burns and scratches all over. After a minute of silent observing each other, the Hobbit and the Wizard broke out in wild chuckles of equal mirth. 

“And you are absolutely sure that they will be normal again in the morn, Master Gandalf?” The Wizard nodded amicably. “ Oh Yes! Believe me Master Baggins; I will feel just as relieved as you once they are!” 

Bilbo nodded. 

“Will they remember anything of this entire mess?” He asked the Wizard curiously and fearfully at the same time. Bilbo feared what would happen if not.  
Gandalf shook his head. “I do not believe so, Bilbo. The magic should take their memories away once they wake up as adults again. Do not fear, my friend, they will remember nothing from what I do know about the brew.” Bilbo just hoped feverishly that his friend was right and that he had not just jinxed himself, and went straight to his bed after his pipe. 

He was instantly crowded on by Bofur, Kili, Fili and little Ori. 

Chuckling softly the Hobbit cuddled up to the cute youngsters while he still could do so and get away with it and fell asleep. 

He was woken up around the early next morning by Thorin’s angry booming voice that questioned Gandalf on behalf of a certain Ale and its side effects that the Wizard had forgot to mention to them all. Soon he was joined in by the irritated demands for explanations of the rest of the mortified sounding group of Dwarves. 

*So much for not remembering anything! * Bilbo thought tiredly and brought his blanked up over his head to hide under it from their wrath. He was fast asleep again in under a minute; despise the ruckus that now erupted around the fire pit. Never seeing Bofur still sitting behind him on the bed and watching Bilbo with a soft smile until he got up slightly and tucked the blanked more securely around the still exhausted Hobbit. 

“Thank ye for taking care of us while we were vulnerable little terror’s, Bilbo.” He whispered lowly into one of Bilbo’s cute, pointy, elf alike ears before he placed a quick kiss onto the tip. 

With a last fleeting caress he left the sleeping areal to get his clothes on again to join the rest.


	2. Part two of this madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … I can’t believe that I wrote a second chapter to this ridiculous story! That’s all of you people fault who send me even PM’s home from FF, glares. I truly didn’t expect one to even read this madness of mine leave alone hunt me down for a second chapter, honestly told… oh well, here you go and I hope you enjoy your victory. Shakes her head and mumbles to herself… as if I have not enough going on already, darn plot bunnies! Get me all the time again, urgh!

Thorin warily eyed the ‘Lump’, alternatively known as Bilbo Baggins by some, on the sleeping platform. 

He wasn’t the only one that felt rather odd since waking up when thinking about Bilbo. Currently Nori, Dori, Gloin, Dwalin and his Brother sat together with Thorin in a cycle and whispered and gesticulated wildly away whilst trying not to look at the ’Lump’ to often. Said Lump was rather unaware of their mortified observation of him or it’s new naming and slept peacefully the day away with the ease of a person that had done hard labor the day before to earn the right. 

In other words, Bilbo was still fully out cold to the world around him. 

They had outworn the poor Hobbit the day before. Now, in the light of the new day, Thorin and co could see the various scratches, cuts, blue and slowly green turning spots all over Bilbo’s small frame with ease and guilt written all over their faces. Worse, they even remembered clearly now who had put which one where and when! 

And that wasn’t even the worst that they did remember… sadly it was far from it actually. 

The given Baths, his feeding of them, and so on came to each ones mind in the cycle around the pit as well as his pats on their heads and cuddles. Slowly but steadily they all did remember the events of the day before and some sported rather hard blushes at their own activities from the day prior.   
In other words, it was an awkward silence that hung over the group of Dwarves that one could have cut with a knife. 

*He took care of me and Balin after I fell into the river. Damn Wizard, can not even watch over a bunch of Dwarvlings!* Signed Dwalin angrily who now sported an adorable blush and a matching scowl when he finished. He opened up a can filled with wiggling worms that way unknowingly and like a waterfall the others followed suit. 

Next to him Nori nodded and grinned like a fox while he signed away a short sentence too that had all of them snigger madly. *Rescued me from the Wizard when I stole a part of his beard as a present! He still has it hidden in his pocket. I saw it earlier stick out!* he looked rather smuck at the clearly amused faces of his fellow Dwarves in the round. 

Around him they all needed a while to calm down again whilst they covertly looked at the visible tear in the dozing off Gandalfs’ beard.   
Fili sat down next to his uncle and begun to sign away fast. 

*Kept Beorn off my tail when I peed in his bed!* That had a new attack of laughter following in its wake. But Fili wasn’t finished. *But what’s even better, he send Gandalf and the Bear man running outside with a glare when both begun to cuss in front of us all!* 

This time, various members of the ever so slowly growing cycle had to wipe the tears out of their eyes. 

Kili, kneeling down next to Fili begun to sign a series of visibly harsher, more hacked off looking signs in their hidden sign language, Iglishmêk. *That Wizard called Ori, Fili and me little Ringwraiths!* He balled his fists and hit them together in front of his chest to point out his displeasure at the naming of him and his friends even more. 

Gandalf, who had stepped outside a moment before, missed the angry looks that followed his wake now. 

Bifur promptly made a quick series of hand movements that had all soon laugh again and clap him on his back. *And? As I do remember correctly, Bilbo shooed him off when he reached you lot and told him to scam and to not call his, I repeat, lovely little Dwarvling’s, that, ever again. Moreso, when I burned his silly looking hat and Gandalf wanted to scold me for it, Bilbo hid me behind him and told the Wizard not to let his things lay around in easy reach of us if he wanted to keep them in one piece!* 

He looked rather smug at his doings when Thorin blushed uncharacteristically and then he signed hesitantly away. 

*He rescued me again from my own idiocy, it is becoming an me embarrassing habit of his if he keeps that up.* The company looked confused and concerned at their King. Balin looked at him even with slight disapproval showing on his face. *What did you do this time, lad?* He signed carefully avoiding to put too much of his irritation into the way he wove the complicated the gestures. Thorin’s blush deepened to a deeply scarlet hue when he finally huffed and signed his answer back to Balin and the group. 

*I, may or may have not, pestered the Beehives for more honey and he had to rescue me and got hurt in my steed from one of those monsters defending it.* 

Thorin stubbornly avoided looking at anyone in the round and crossed his arms with a mope. Next to him, Dwalin growled softly. *So, that’s why he was rubbing his back yesterday all the time!* Thorin nodded, clearly uncomfortable looking in his skin. His face now clearly showed his remorse at his stupid actions from the day before. 

Fili rubbed his back comfortingly with a short laugh. 

*We all were mighty morons yesterday as it seems to me.* He signed and then looked at each of the others who suddenly looked everywhere else than the eyes of the heir apparent of the house of Durin in their center of attention. 

Balin; *I nearly ate a toxic Mushroom that I usually would not even touch! He took it away just in time and gave me a small cake instead without a scolding.* His soft blush had the others snort. 

Dwalin; *I nearly drowned, confound that nearsighted Wizard! From all people it had to be the Hobbit that had to calm me down…I will never forgive Gandalf that happening ever in my life!* 

Dori; *He caught me barely before I fell down the stairs of the cellar and rescued Balin when I accidentally gave him said mushroom.* He blushed rather badly when he finished his signs and looked rather uncomfortably at Balin who patted him reassuringly on the back. 

Ori; *He did bake me a cake!* Here, all grinned at the young scribe, remembering the cute little baby that Bilbo had coaxed out of his hiding spot with a cake and soft words the day before. 

Bifur; Rescued me from the Wizard’s wrath and got a glower for it without to make a fuzz about it.* 

Oin; *Helped me and Bombur to bake the most perfect sand cakes!* At this, all broke out in wild chuckles. *Oi! Even Beorn seemed to like them! We almost made him eat one… thought Bilbo rescued him in time, darn sneaky Hobbit. Gave him one of the tasty cookies instead.* He joked and new sniggers filled the room out. 

Kili; *Didn’t say anything when I tried to eat up his toe. Just pulled me off and gave me a sandwich and even sung me a lullaby.* Another bout of wild chuckles swapped over the group. He rubbed the back of his head uncomfortable at that and smiled too. 

Fili; *Helped me hiding from Beorn when he wanted to polish my ass for peeing on his bed. Even managed to look completely innocent up at the giant when he wanted to know where he had hidden me away from his wrath.* Several members of their group had now to hold their hands in front of their mouths or had to bite into something to keep from bursting out in uproarious laughter. 

They did not want to wake their burglar up accidentally. 

Bofur sighed and gesticulated away. *In short, we all own him big time for taking care of us little terrors. Not to mention take the brunt for our shenanigans for more than one time too on the way.* 

And just like that, the mirth died down all at once like air released from a balloon. All eyed Bilbo for a few moments before they looked back at each other. All of the Dwarves sported an equally self-conscious look on their faces. 

Balin rubbed his face wearily before his hands flew into the signs again. 

*He is right, we really do own our esteemed Hobbit much this time! Oh Mahal, we really have been little ‘terror’s’ as you so aptly have named us, Bofur son of Rofur.* He shook his head with a frown. *As if we do not already own him enough as it is and to top that, before it all, we were really a rather unfriendly bunch to the kind soul that is Bilbo Baggins. This is really a bad situation to fall into. Our honor is now at stake here and I don’t think that I have to point it out more as necessary to each one of you here anymore as I have already done it. Curse that meddlesome Wizard to forget to warn us about Beorn’s special brew!* 

He scowled at the wide open doors through those Gandalf had gone out for a longer walk, still gesturing away without looking at the others. 

*We will be the scorn and hilarity of all the other Dwarven clans once this comes out and do not do something to clear up this vexing situation soon! Not to mention that such would give munity to those tongue wagers that want us ill all the time and call our race thick, unsociable and hardheaded.  
Mahal forbid that the elves ever hear of it!*

Here, everyone in the cycle nodded or grunted their assent. The most now sporting a dark scowl or they were suddenly blanching a little. 

Ori’s eyes held a dark glint inside that was not normal for the rather kind hearted Dwarf to sport when his hands flew agitated through the gestures of the silent language of his people. 

*We really have to think of something to pay his kindness back this time! And more so, we have to apologize to him for our rude manners! Mahal, what if he hadn’t taken care of us?! Gandalf clearly has had no experience with little ones of any race before this. It showed in how he reacted to us all the time, if one thinks about it more closely. No matter how we turn it around, Bilbo was the one who feed, cleaned, played and coddled us and even clothed us yesterday. He was the one who took care of us for the most of the time and the one who kept us out of trouble without so much as to scowl at us for only once!* 

His face indicated how upset the young Dwarf felt about the entire matter when he dropped his hands into his lap gloomily. 

Next to him, his brothers nodded along and Bombur made a series of gestures that indicated the utter embarrassment of one at ones own actions in their silent language that was echoed from almost all in the round at once. 

*The only problem with that, that I see here is that Bilbo will not take too well to such at all, I fear.* 

Bofur scratched his head before he continued, gestures coming a lot slower this time to point out what he wanted to get across.   
*As I have come to know him, Bilbo will most likely see this as nothing worthy to even talk about it much, he simply is kindhearted like that. Believe it or not. From what I know about Hobbits; they do seem to see what he did as an expected duty for all adults to take on. I mean to care for little ones of any race when they find them in need of it.* 

He scratched his arm this time and grimaced at the confused looks that his signs earned. 

*Uh, they do not see it as something special, like others normally do it? Rather, like something that is a given fact? No wonder if ye ask me when ye look at the numbers of little ones that run around in the Shire. They, like us, love and adore children and seem to be brought up to care for any little one that they find placed in their paths.* 

At that, Thorin groaned aloud. *But this isn’t so for all the races in Arda, Bofur! The most would have kicked us around and not taken care of us.* 

The Miner nodded. *I know that also, Thorin! But this is how he will most likely see the entire thing and more so; I dread that he will fear now that we will be angry at him again with him having been the one to do so and see us at our weakest point possible. We really did not treat him well at the beginning and that got stuck way too much within our poor Hobbit, Thorin Oakenshield!* His hot glare had the King fast look down. Well knowing that he had earned it. 

Another bout of groans and growls, sighs and whines were voiced out from the Dwarves around the fire pit. 

Gloin had his carefully braided beard worried open in places and fisted a few strands hard until Oin moved to loosen his grip on his facial hair with practiced ease. *My wife will have my head for this if she ever learns about it! Not to mention what she will do to me once she finds out that we have still not rewarded him for all the trouble he went through on our expense!* 

Bofur nodded to that and so did Oin and Balin. 

Gloin’s wife could react rather harshly at times. She did not easily suffer morons around her and she would certainly didn’t like to have to find out that her husband was one of the biggest ones possible, either. They all knew the friend of the lady Dis of the line of Durin and some like Thorin did shudder ever so slightly at the thought of her finding that out too. 

Fili groaned subdued next to Thorin and Kili rubbed his face at the prospect of having to face the two formidable she Dwarves. 

*So, what do you propose that we do than, Bofur? You seem to have befriended him a bit.* Dwalin signed whilst he arched a brow at the still only half dressed Miner across from him on the other side of the fire. Bofur shrugged softly and begun to gnaw on one of his fingernails. A nervous habit that he had developed into when his family was wandering around in the early days after the fall of Erebor. 

Finally he hesitantly signed back a series of gestures to the warrior. 

*He is a straightforward creature, our Hobbit. He truly loves and prefers simple things to any gems that we could dig out of the mountains for him. You saw how amusingly he reacts to flowers at times!* Around him snorts and chuckles took up and died down again. *All he craves for himself is friendship and acceptance, me thinks. He really has no ulterior motives further than that, if he even is knowing the meaning of the word, ulterior, that is. From what I could gather so far, he has no close family left in this world at all. A larger distantly related bunch of relatives, yes but no one of his near family. They all did die under the hands of Warg riders and Ork’s in the fell winter a few years back, when they invaded the Shire.* 

He shook his head fondly and a little sad at his own words. Then his face hardened in an grimace of pain and suppressed rage. 

*He even had to watch his mother die protecting him from them, when he was younger and lost his family. Gandalf came with Rangers and helped to drive the Orks away again but it was too late for his mother and father.* 

Around him, Thorin and co cursed under their breath or simply scowled mightily at the walls or the fire to hide their shocks. 

After a while his cousin made gestures other as expressing his anger again. 

*We could begin with it to see to it that Bilbo gets more to eat! He never complains but I heard his stomach growl more than one time. Hobbits need a lot more sustenance as we do. He is almost nothing else as skin and bones under his cloths anymore!* 

At the others alarmed looks about his observation, Kili and Fili exchanged a glance with each other before they gathered up their things and went to Beorn outside on the porch. To ask if they could go on a hunt outside of his territory and to tell him why they wanted to do so. 

The large shapeshifter looked down at the duo for long moments before he told them where to go and what they had to keep in mind while they hunted.   
Both bowed deeply to the shapeshifter and thanked him vehemently and did promise not to shoot one of his friends accidentally. Than both walked out of his estate to get some food other as the honey, bread and fruits from the tall man’s home and gardens, for their Hobbity friend to consume this evening at the evening meal. 

In the meanwhile, Ori had walked over to Bilbo’s clothes that lay neatly folded at the foot of his bedding. He made a softly tittering sound before he showed the group what was left of Bilbo’s once so prim and proper looking waistcoat and trousers with a grimace. 

Obviously, they all had yesterday given the entire garb the rest. 

It was torn in some places with parts of the heavy wool missing in places. Drool, dried Orc blood and other unpleasant things had colored it in several places. In short, the Hobbit badly needed new outfit. Some of the Dwarves remembered horrified how some of the various stains and ribs had come to pass and blanched at the sight of the only collection of clothing that their Hobbit had to his owning after the debacle with the Goblins and warg riders.   
Thorin even blanched rapidly at the blood stains he saw marring the once so fine a waistcoat. Well knowing how easily those stains could have been the Hobbit’s own blood because of his lack of a proper armor to keep him from harm. 

*That fits it for me!* 

Dori clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention to him to then sign away with a heavy scowl on his normally friendly face.

*Ori, you go and knit the lad some good mittens and a damned shawl. It will be colder now where we travel to, this region was always a colder climatic zone in the past. Since it is situated nearer to the northern Iceland’s, he will freeze otherwise as thin as Bilbo has become under our ‘care’! Bofur, maybe you and your cousin can whittle down some items for him to replace the ones that he lost in the caves and on the run?* 

At the nod of both and Bombur’s signs that he would make a better filling dinner this eve, Dori who had taken over somehow without so much as a complain from anyone in the round, nodded. 

*And for us others too, please. We all lost nearly all of our gear. And we need to regain our weight to be healthy enough to got through Mirkwood in one piece. I will take Balin with me to Beorn and between the both of us we should be able to charm our host into giving us out some of his leathers to make Bilbo new garments.*

He crossed his arms with a frown in the direction of Bilbo’s sleeping form. Than he signed away again.

*The poor lad needed better clothing since the beginning anyways! That Wizard and his meddling, what was he thinking, throwing the Halfling headfirst into such an adventure without to help him pack for it at all?! What kind of attire is Bilbo’s garb to begin with it? It has no protective abilities at all. I get an ill feeling when I think of it, what all exactly, could have injured him until here so easily! It is a wonder in itself that he is still in one piece and with us if you ask me.* 

The entire group of Dwarves nodded at his observation of the obvious. 

Thorin gave the fuming Dori a shortcut nod to show his acceptance of his ordering around of his Dwarves. 

*Dwalin, Gloin and I wanted to put up a small forge for repairs in the yard anyways. We have already asked Beorn when we arrived if we could do so to replace and mend our equipment. He gave his acceptance in turn for us to repair some of his items here. We will see to it that he gets some better protection, even I do know well enough that Bilbo will try to bite our heads off for putting him into a Dwarven gear most likely. I will not suffer it any longer that Bilbo is so easy a target that he was before! From here on, our real troubles begin and it gets more dangerous as even on our journey here!*   
Thorin crossed his arms with a stubborn setting of his chin that his nephews often showed too when they were dead set on getting their will done. It was a sight that Balin and the others had secretly duped the ‘Durin scowl’. 

Never less, all agreed that Thorin was right in this and did not comment on it too overly much. 

Sure, Bilbo would probably fight against it to be put into an armor of any kind, even they had gotten to know him well enough already to predict this easily but this time, their Burglar would have to face down thirteen stubborn Dwarves at once if needed to get their will done. 

And if Bilbo threw a temper tantrum from here on until they reached Erebor; he would wear an armor from now on and that was the final word in this as far as all the Dwarves were concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blinks out from her safe hiding spot under the desk… damn but are they a stubborn bunch, or what? I thought at times that they would jump into my face in their anger.   
> … someone wants another chapter? Well… than please get me a Beta? Directs her huge and teary Puppy dog eyes at her readers.


	3. part three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious fluff warning ahead! You have been warned, so don’t go and blame me if you feel queasy later!  
> and I am only adding this because it was the rest of the last chapter that needed proofreading before I post it. Honestly, people! Are all of you Fluff addicted or what? I went back online to post the rest when my mail account showed me 24 Reviews???! On two sides but thats not important here, throws her arms up in her confusion here, oh well, will have to go and answer them all tomorrow then, still; I thank you all kindly!  
> Grimaces, I hate writing fluff!

And what did poor Bilbo do in the meanwhile they all got busy? 

He slept peacefully on through it all. Completely unawares of it that thirteen stubborn Dwarves had set their minds to it to change his life and fashion stile irrevocably in the next hours forever… if he wanted it, or not. 

Meanwhile he slept the day away, exhausted from the trope he had minded the day before, the entire company begun to busy themselves with crafting or mending various things. Bifur soon went outside to help Gloin, Dwalin and Thorin with the forge and repairs of Beorn’s many items while the giant man looked on intrigued. He even helped them with moving the heavy stones around that they used to build it with. 

He had given them leathers and even some homespun fabrics in lovely deeply brown and dark yellow colors to use when he heard for whom they wanted to use it for to fashion Bilbo new garments from the given items. 

Balin found out while talking to him that the Shapeshifter genially adored the little Hobbit. It endeared him some to the Dwarves.  
Dori and Oin had promptly used some of the given leathers to boil them to harden them into a kind of lesser armor that would hold away the most damages in a attack. It was reinforced with some metal inlays at parts that would protect Bilbo from the more brutal injuries and arrow wounds mostly and still leave him with enough movement and freedom to move around silently if he wished it. 

The rest was used from Bombur, Bofur and Dori to fashion other stuff out of the leathers and furs for Bilbo as well as for the others too. 

Shirts and pants came this way into being as well as some spare tunics and a rainproof cloak for Bilbo that he sorely needed. They repaired socks, boots and their own clothing, made new ones for the lost ones of the group, fashioned simple items like plates or new sets of spoons and forks and table knifes for all and so on. 

So, when Bilbo finally awoke again in the late afternoon he did find some really curios things where he had left his tattered clothing’s at the foot of his bedding place the night before. 

Rubbing his eyes didn’t help and neither did searching under the pile of clearly Dwarven clothing to bring his poor waistcoat back to the light. Looking utterly confused around Bilbo would have proceeded to search for his garments if Bofur had not stopped the still a bit befuddled Hobbit from it with a chuckle. 

“Nope, they are no longer in existence my friend. Yer coat and pants, I mean. They were ruined beyond repair, Bilbo.” He had to kneel down in frontage of the now rather lost looking Hobbit. Ruffling Bilbo’s curls affectionately, he smiled softly down at the Hobbit. Bilbo sported a mop of unruly locks atop his head. Bedhead, Bofur did call it affectionally in his mind and barely resisted from it to run a comb through the hair that seem to have choosen to stick up in every possible direction. What gave Bilbo a purely too cute new look that, in Bofur’s thoughts, should be forbidden to be sported by the cute Hobbit in public! 

It was much too tempting for the poor smitten Miner and had his hands itch to simply nick the Hobbit from his spot and hide him away somewhere where others could not see the cute picture that Bilbo made unknowingly to his already half cooing audience. 

“Bu…But! Those were all that I had left of my shire outfits! Why did you lot have to go and destroy them utterly?” Bilbo was almost crying now. 

The Dwarf shifted until he sat next to Bilbo with a frown. “It’s not that we did not try to mend them, Bilbo. We know how much ye wanted to keep them but trust me, they were beyond good and evil.” He brought his large hand up until he could easily pat the Hobbit on the back. Bilbo gave him a teary eyed nod at Bofur’s words and sniffled a little. “I know ye would rather have clothes that ye are used to, to wear but these were made with good intentions from us and meant to keep you safer and warmer as before. 

And the weather here is much colder than the one that ye are used to in the Shire, ye will need the warmer clothing!” 

Bilbo visibly deflated under the Look that the Miner and occasionally Toymaker gave the poor Hobbit as well as his words. Bilbo wasn’t immune to the Dwarvish version of huge begging eyes and inwardly he cursed the kind Miner a bit for making him give in. with another sigh he finally wiped his tears away and steeled himself to put the new ensemble on. 

Still, Bilbo was a bit miffed about it that they had decided over his head about his clothes without to ask him first! 

Seeing the mulish look appear in the lovely eyes of Bilbo, Bofur hid a grin just barely and decided to play dirty. 

Pulling out what he had made while Bilbo was asleep, Bofur hoped that his little underhanded trick would help to keep Bilbo from stubbornly refusing the new gear. He had craftily figured out early on that he would need to keep something from Bilbo’s ruined wear to have him give in. Secretly told, Bofur was overjoyed at the prospect to see Bilbo in his people attire for once. 

“Here, I rescued that from yer things. Sorry, but to use them for more than this they were no longer good enough in any way.”  
He held out a bunch of handkerchiefs to the Hobbit that he had sewn together from the rags that had been Bilbo’s waistcoat once. At the teary eyed and soft smile that the overwhelmed Hobbit gave him, Bofur had to gulp. 

“Thank you, Bofur.” 

Bilbo whispered softly before he rubbed his eyes free from the tears with one of them and crawled out of his blankets to dress. 

Unknowns to Bilbo, he gave the poor Miner a good view on his rounded backside in small clothes while he crawled out of his blanket and over to the rim of the planks on which they all had their bedrolls upon. Bofur had to hold his hands trapped between his knees to keep himself from simply pat the soft behind of Bilbo. 

Inwardly cussing up a storm he stood rather fast and wandered over to the fire to calm himself down under the knowing eyes of Bombur and Dori who secretly congratulated the kind Dwarf on his restraint and did not bother Bofur further. 

When he finally plopped down next to the fire pit, Bofur busied himself with carving the halfway finished item from before to an end.  
It took Bilbo some time to get the new and foreign equipment on. Including the armor, what was a light one, and the additional arm bracers that came with the set. Sniffling a little the Hobbit looked down at himself. He could almost not recognize himself anymore in this outlandish garments! None the less, Bilbo was glad that they had made themselves such troubles to outfit him with new stuff. 

He felt weird and displaced in the new garb, no matter what Bofur, Dori and Bombur told him otherwise! 

The garb felt wrong to the Hobbit, who was used to much lighter weighting clothing as well as much softer one. Still, it wasn’t all that bad. The lightly padded armor moved a bit different from what Bilbo was used to but did not hinder him too badly in his movements. The pants had been sewn to fit him better as his old ones what included that they were thicker as his woolen ones from before and he could tie them closed over his ankles if needed to keep his legs warm and dry. 

Dori had added less of the straps and ornaments to them of which the Dwarves were so fond upon to wear as decorations. 

Actually, Bilbo rather liked the new pants quite much if he was honest and said as much to Dori after a while. It had the eldest of the Ri brothers smile widely as if he had been given a wonderful praise. The simple shirt and over tunic where made of homespun wool and leather with fur on the inside to keep him warm. 

Bilbo would have had never guessed how comfortable the Dwarven garb was. 

It did already look warm but wearing it made it clear to Bilbo how much he had felt chilly all the time in the late. Their garb was designed to keep him warm and safe, he gave up his last tokens of protest left and sighed simply into the fur of the warm tunic with a happy grin in the end.  
It had Bofur, Bombur and Dori smile at his antics in no time at all. 

Over that all was the leather armor thrown with metal inserts that did him fit rather comfortably if he was asked. Still, he missed his normal garb badly and did put up a fuzz when he had to put it on in the end. Someone had added a pocket at the breast into the armor. He tucked one of his new hankie’ into it and felt immediately better for it. Seeing this earned him soft laughs from the Dwarves who watched the endearing sight with chuckles. 

Bofur stood and checked on the straps that held the armor in check before he nodded to Bilbo. 

“See? That isn’t too bad now, now was it?” Bofur patted Bilbo on his back before he steered him over to were the rest trickled of their group slowly into the hall for food and drink. Bilbo shook his head softly. “No, not so much as I would have thought but I still miss my poor waistcoat, no offence meant thought. This is lovely and I thank you all for it. I guess I am only a bit over sentimental feeling here.” 

Bofur gave him another friendly pat before he made him sit down near the fire and helped his brother to hand out the ready food. 

When all had their share, he settled next down to Bilbo on the bench with a grin and wolfed down his share. 

Bilbo just shook his head seeing that and admonished him to eat more slowly, hence he wouldn’t get a stomach-ache later. Clearly still in the drill form the day before a bit too much. His prompt blush when he got it too earned him soft laughs from the group. It did, however, do the trick. Bofur slowed down, even as hungry as he was and so too, surprisingly, did the rest. 

Maybe, Bilbo figured when seeing this, he wasn’t the only one here who was still affected from the beer and its magic. 

When Gandalf finally re-appeared in their middle from his longer walk, he stopped right in the door in his shock and did actually nearly double over when seeing Bilbo chatter away with Bofur and Kili in what clearly was Dwarven garb! 

Knowing from experience how hard it was to come by such garb made by the stout folk and how rarely they gifted others with it, the Wizard narrowed his eyes deep in thought at the implications that innocently looking clothing presented him with. 

“Why, Master Baggins, it looks like you got a new outfit while I was gone for a walk?” 

He settled down in an open spot while he spoke that. Unawares that Bifur signed something right behind his back to the other Dwarves that had them narrow their eyes at Gandalf slightly. 

*Am I the only one here who thinks that he doesn’t like us, out fit our very own Hobbit Burglar? We better stop him now while we can before he makes the poor lad more uncomfortable with his questions as he is already. Gandalf clearly knows about our customs!* 

Thorin shook his head softly at the Axe wearer before he looked calmly at Gandalf. 

“That sounds as if you think that we would let him run around in his poor rags all the way to Erebor, Master Gandalf.” 

He kept his voice painfully neutral with a reason. Thorin did not want to accidentally scare Bilbo all over again. As much irked he felt at the words of the Wizard or not; Bilbo was already jumpy enough. Thorin didn’t need the Hobbit to fear him again and did not want to alienate the poor soul accidentally once more with careless words. He watched Bofur subtly inch closer to Bilbo on the bench while moving his bulk between the sight of Gandalf and Bilbo cleverly with the excuse of having to shift the fire wood around in the pit. He obviously wanted to shield Bilbo from Gandalf’s gaze and to give relieve to the Hobbit at the same time. 

Seeing Bilbo give the friendly Miner a shy smile in return, Thorin allowed himself to smile a bit at the scene. 

Well aware of the curios glances Gandalf gave him and the others. 

“Now, Master Oakenshield, why would I think such a thing? I was merely… curios about the new garb of our Hobbit here. Since it is a well known fact that your kin does not give out such a set to any outsiders of your Dwarven race lightly.” 

As expected, Bilbo jumped at the words and gave Thorin a wide eyed look of shock. 

Bifur rolled his eyes skywards and growled softly something unpleasant out in Khuzdul that had Bofur look aghast at his cousin.  
Thorin cursed inwardly at the lack of tact of the Wizard but let outwardly not show his anger for once. Instead he gave Bilbo a small calming smile and looked over to Gandalf who eyed him as expected with a inquiring look in his eyes. 

Behind the Wizard Bifur shook his head at him before he got up and walked over to Bilbo to sit down next to his cousin on the bench with a mutter.  
“That is indeed a well known fact, Wizard. And normally I wouldn’t do so but Master Bilbo is an exception from the rule. He ruined his entire clothing on our expense and safety and he needed a warmer set of clothing anyways badly. It is a lot colder around here, as well you should know so yourself. The tunic and cloak should keep him from freezing overly much. What kind of leader would I be if I let him freeze and run around like that if I can do something about it?” 

He gave Gandalf a sharp glance when he wanted to say something that shut Gandalf up before hand. 

“Besides, he earned the right to wear our garb when he rescued me and more so, when he took care of us all yesterday… what was your error in happening in the first place if I remember correctly? You never elaborated on how you could forget to mention a warning to us.” 

Gandalf mumbled something into his now uneven beard before he nodded and kept from saying anymore about the entire event. 

Bilbo looked confused from Thorin to Gandalf and back a few times before Fili tapped his shoulder and distracted him cleverly from his thoughts with questions about the leather armor. 

Soon he lost thought of it completely and happily chatted away with the Durin heir and Bofur about the wearing of an armor versus a comfy waistcoat. Eyed somewhat equally confused and astonished by Gandalf who tried to figure out what had happened meanwhile he was away.  
But try as might, he couldn’t figure it out how they had turned Bilbo into a mini Dwarf replica in less than ten hours! 

Well, the manners and looks were still Hobbit, but the garb all but screamed property of the Group to him and Gandalf worried a little about the many different meanings behind certain knots, decorations and even the final coloring of the clothes and armor that he could decipher and not. As he saw it, Thorin and co had somewhat adopted Bilbo while he was gone and if he was right in this, than his poor friend had no idea in what he had gotten himself into either! 

Now, Gandalf thought, whilst scratching his beard deep in thought, that wasn’t what I had in mind! 

They weren’t supposed to take to Bilbo, well, … this well?! He shook his head. At this rate, the Dwarves would not let the poor lad go home again once al was over. He let a soft groan escape and tried to figure out a way to prevent that from happening in the future. Gandalf knew very well how possessive Dwarves could become when they claimed someone as theirs or gods forbid, as kind of kin! 

He should have seen it coming he thought, ruefully recalling the last days events and again he shook his head in silent defeat. 

Confound these Dwarves! 

They never did what one wanted them to do in the first place and always did what you least expected from them just to spurn you in the second. Especially the Durin’s were prone to such actions, he gave Thorin a hard glare but the King didn’t react at all to it… much to Gandalf’s aggravation. 

For once, the Dwarven King in exile held his temper in check and even threw Gandalf off with chatting kindly with Beorn. About forging and such of all things possible! He was clearly ignoring him and Gandalf understood and knew as much. Watching the sudden protectiveness that the group suddenly showed around the unsuspecting Bilbo, he groaned inwardly again. 

Blinking Gandalf took it in that Bifur just…glared…at him? 

He gave it up and searched for his pipe instead in his cloak with a mumbled curse in the high tongue of the elves of Valinor in his vexation about the situation he found himself in. at the moment, he could do naught about it but that would change come morning.  
Resolving himself to have a chat with Bilbo in the morning about Dwarven customs and what they entailed, Gandalf took his pipe and lit it with a burst of magic. 

He wasn’t aware of the many covered glances that he earned all the while from the rest of the group. 

Especially from Bofur who cleverly made certain to sit in Gandalf’s line of sight to Bilbo all the time. Bilbo, he never noticed this but that wasn’t important to the Miner here. Only that the Wizard was kept from making their Hobbit nervous with his gaze was it. He watched him lit his pipe and puff away until the meal was over. 

Gandalf soon retired after his pipe under the relieved looks of the rest of the company. 

Later that night, Bofur followed Bilbo over to the bench near the fire place for a smoke. 

He used his first watch this night to talk to Bilbo who shared it since he had slept in for so long and wasn’t tired now at all. Actually, Bilbo was rather surprised that Thorin had told him to take the first watch with Bofur! 

He never had trusted him enough before to do so. 

Not that they needed to guard the others here, Beorn was friendly and would not harm them, Bilbo was sure. He figured that this was a Dwarven thing to do and left it wisely at that. Instead he had nodded and gotten his pipe and weed and had settled on the bench near the fire.  
Soon he was joined by Bofur who smiled at him whilst he settled near Bilbo on the bench. 

The crafty Miner soon busied himself with carvings by the fire and Bilbo watched him fascinated for a long while. Puffing happily away on his pipe. All had been much kinder to him this evening and Bilbo secretly basked still in the feeling of being accepted for the first time since he knew the Dwarves. Pointing with the stem of his pipe at the wooden piece that Bofur evenly whittled away on, he let his curiosity get the better out of him. 

“What will that become, when finished, I mean. If you do not mind me asking that is?” 

Bofur smiled tenderly at the Hobbit and shook his head softly. 

“I do not mind ye asking, Bilbo.” He showed the wooden piece to the hobbit and pointed with his knife at the middle so Bilbo could see that it was slowly becoming a small bowl with a high rim to settle a lid on it in the end “I am making a bowl as ye can see.” He took up a part that he had removed earlier in the afternoon from the original wood piece and had laid aside next to him. 

“That here will become the cover for it once I am finished. Oin needs this for his herbs to transport them in his new pack. He lost most of his gear, in the goblin caves. Mahal curse the thieving Goblin scum and their grabby hands!” Bofur scowled down at his piece darkly. 

Bilbo patted him comfortingly on the thickly muscled arm that was bare of his usually thick overlay for once, absentminded wondering about the softness of the skin and hairs that he felt doing so. 

Bofur had foregone his thick coat and wore currently only his to a good deal armored undershirt with his trousers and boots. Normally, the armored shirt lay hidden from sight under the padded jacked that he wore over it. It left his arms bare from the elbows down since he had folded up the sleeves and had clipped them in place with two leather straps that Bilbo now saw for the first time. They had been hidden under the sleeves all the time before. 

Well, he thought, it was rather warm in Beorn’s house with the doors to the outside closed firmly and the fire roaring in the pit in frontage of both of them.  
The Miner didn’t seem to mind his touch and smiled back at Bilbo before he patted the Hobbits hand on his arm and then stretched like an overgrown cat so suddenly that Bilbo could only watch him surprised with a small smile. 

He could hear Bofur’s spine pop into place that loudly that Bilbo flinched at the sounds in his shock hearing them suddenly echo through the silent room.  
Next to him, Bofur gave him a silly grin and scratched his head. 

“Seems I was a bit too long in one position, eh? Don’t mind the sounds, happens all the time when I stretch.” His grin was infectious and Bilbo had to laugh in the end. The Dwarf pointed at Bilbo’s armor with his knife in hand. “Isn’t that too warm now to wear inside?” The poor Hobbit nodded and stood to remove the padded leather armor. 

Fiddling with the unfamiliar straps for a moment he got suddenly help from Bofur with them. 

“Here, let me help ye. Those are a bit trying at first.” Bilbo blushed adorably a little but let Bofur help him to get the thing off without a complain.  
The two settled back at the bench and Bofur took up on his project again. 

A while long, none of them talked. Bofur hummed a few times a melody unknown to Bilbo and the Hobbit had taken up on some of the left over leather straps that Dori had left behind near the pit to fiddle around with them in his need to do something worthwhile to distract himself from the Dwarf next to him. 

Otherwise, Bilbo was certain he would have to look at Bofur again who seem to draw his eyes to him in the late much too often for his comfort. It confused and alarmed Bilbo a little that Bofur seem to do that to him and that the Miner was sitting now so near made Bilbo fairly nervous out of a point he did not understand. 

Under Bofur’s surprised gaze the Hobbit begun swiftly to weave the straps together into a sturdy looking rope that looked like it could actually hold out a lot while in use. 

“How did ye do that?” 

He asked curiously when Bilbo was finished with his first and took up other discarded straps to begin a second rope. Never before had Bofur seen someone make a rope out of such discarded straps. Taking the finished one up to inspect it closer, the surprised Dwarf found out that it indeed held out a lot more as he would have ever thought that it could. It even withstood the power he used to try to rip it apart and Bofur whistled softly at that revelation while his muscles in his arms bulged out at the force he used. 

He gave Bilbo a questioning look. 

“It is actually rather easy to make them out of the straps, Bofur. My mother showed me once how elves do weave and make their famous ropes in Rivendell. She learned it from one of them on her various adventures in her youth. They do not like to leave over leftovers when they make something and usually try to find a use for all that they can in order to not waste anything.” 

Slipping closer to the Miner on the bench Bilbo turned so Bofur had a better look on what Bilbo was doing with his hands. 

He bend close to the Dwarf and took up some other straps to weave them cleverly into the beginning rope in his hands. Holding it out so Bofur could see clearly what he was doing, Bilbo proceeded to weave the thin, short leather straps together more slowly as before. 

“See? You do it like this. One after the other… I guess it is a bit like braiding?” The intrigued Dwarf nodded thoughtfully and watched carefully Bilbo’s fingers’ move skillfully. 

“Yes. I would still have troubles to do so. Ye think that ye can make a few more of them? For each of us one? Yer’ can never have to much rope on travels, me learned that the hard way once.” At Bilbo’s soft nod and smile he turned back to his whittling. 

Bilbo immersed himself into his work for a while before the curiosity to know more about Bofur got the better out of him. 

“Say Bofur, if you do not mind me asking a rather personal question that is, but are Bifur and Bombur your only family?” 

Bofur looked up at the ceiling of the hall for a moment and chewed on his bottom lip while he did so before he answered Bilbo. 

“I do not mind ye asking. Yes, sadly they are all what is left of them all. After the cursed overgrown Lizard came, we found out that we had been the only ones that did escape the beast’s fiery breath. Our family was never what ye would call large in n umbers. Not like yer families in the Shire are it, Bilbo. We Dwarves have not such big ones. Comes with the trouble that out of every eight births one only is a female, ye see?” 

At the shocked look from the Hobbit Bofur shrugged. 

“Has always been like that. We never had much females born to our folk and the ones that we have do not always choose to become mothers. Or to marry at all, hence why Kili and his older brother Fili are named of the line of Durin in that the lad’s where born into instead of a father’s name to sport like the rest of us or like their Uncle, who is introducing himself as son of Thrain if ye will remember. It is pretty common actually. Especially in the royal families.”  
He looked at Bilbo calmly when the Hobbit shook his head in wonderment at the told information. 

“So, basically speaking, it is common for female Dwarves to bear a child without to marry the Father?” He asked a bit confused. Bofur grinned lopsided at that. “Yep! Pretty much so. Gloin is a lucky one for having his wife agree to marry him. She continued his line with that move. Otherwise the Dwarvlings born would automatically fall to the line of the mother and would be counted under them then. 

In the laddys’ case, this was actually a wanted effect. 

Master Vili agreed to step down from his rights to claim them as his own ones in order to give the line of Durin new heirs to continue it in direct succession, ye understand? It is very, very important to us all that the line of Durin does, not, end! It is common practice but most likely not something that is done in the Shire ever, eh?” 

Bilbo mutely shook his curly head at the words. 

“No it is not. Normally there are no children born out of wedlock under Hobbits, ever, Bofur. The elders will see to that quickly and the younger ones keep it in mind that it is frowned upon greatly. We would never condemn a child of the way it is born but the parents would be deeply frowned upon and asked to marry immediately to prevent such from happening. 

There are rare cases where such happened in the past thought, if the father did pass on before marriage or such. In such cases the children count as born in wedlock because they would have married surely.” 

He gave Bofur a slightly puzzled stare. 

“But doesn’t that mean that many of your males do never marry?” 

Bofur shook his head with a carefully upheld calm expression. This was what he had aimed at with telling Bilbo about it all in the first place. He had to treat carefully now and he knew it too. He had been before in the Shire lands and had sold there his toys. That way he had learned one or two things about the Hobbit’s on his way. now, Bofur used that knowledge to guide him through the next minutes. 

“Actually that is not the case, Bilbo. Many of us just never marry a female?” He winced at his own words silently. That wasn’t what Bofur had wanted to say in the first place! But before he could soften his forthright words up, the Hobbit looked first shocked at him and than he asked Bofur already a question that surprised the Miner enough to stop him from talking and instead had him think. 

“You mean, your people allow such unions instead to forbid them?” 

And that was actually why Bofur wanted to treat carefully from the beginning. 

At Bofur’s soft and careful nod, Bilbo shook his head in wonderment. He looked embarrassed at his own words down at his feet. 

“In the Shire, the towns especially, such pairs are frowned upon mightily, Bofur. They aren’t even allowed and neither are they encouraged. Hobbit’s who fall in love with their own gender mostly settle somewhere else, like Bree or the Took Smial’s. There it is at least tolerated as long that it isn’t floundered around. To have such an inclination means to either to stay abstinent or to move away and loose your reputation entirely.“ 

Bilbo fiddled with his rope strands in his nervous state. 

Seeing that reaction Bofur fast figured some things out that he had wanted to know since he had meet the Hobbit. 

“Means, that they have a mighty stick up their arses about that and do not dare to remove it, hence they could find out what they are missing, ye mean!”  
At Bilbo’s utterly shocked look at his rather direct words the Dwarf barked out a utterly amused laugh. Sobering fast up again, Bofur fixed his gaze with Bilbo’s. His voice was strangely soft and crooning when he addressed the flustered Hobbit with it. “It also explains why ye lived alone in such a big hole, don’t it, Bilbo?” 

Try as might, Bilbo couldn’t look away from the intently at him staring brown eyes of the Dwarf. 

Bushing furiously he settled for a short nod and used the momentum to look at his feet again. 

Bofur had none of it and used one hand to tip Bilbo’s chin up again with it so he could look into the eyes of the Hobbit easily. 

“Also means, that ye choose to be respectable as ye have said and became a bachelor, am I correct?” Another shy nod followed after a while. Bilbo’s blush reached the tips of his ears by the now. Bofur found that incredible cute and endearing. 

He let go on the chin and let Bilbo escape his eyes for now. 

“No one ever that wanted to fight for you either I guess…” Bofur could only shake his head in disbelieve of what he witnessed here when he saw Bilbo nod so faintly that he almost missed it. 

“Well, good for me than that they were all cowards and blind fools to boot because I want thee, Bilbo and I am rather single-minded when I set my mind on something that I want!” He waited exactly as long it did need for Bilbo’s head to snap up to give Bofur a deer in headlights look before his hand wound fast around the head of the Hobbit to draw him over to Bofur. 

Than Bofur proceeded to kiss Bilbo, feeling utterly unrepentant until the poor Hobbit in his grasp forgot his own name for a while in his shock.  
When he drew away again Bofur panted softly. Bilbo was not in a much better state thought one of his hands found its way up from where it had grasped Bofur’s shirt in his shock to softly touch his lips with the fingers in his silent wonderment. 

“You kissed me.” 

It came out in a way that suggested that Bilbo still did not believe it that Bofur had dared to do so. 

The miner barely kept from laughing out at the befuddled tune that Bilbo’s voice held. Instead he nodded amicably with a soft smile. “Yup! That I did!” his hand held Bilbo still securely at the back of the Hobbit’s neck the thumb softly drawing cycles against the soft skin there.  
Bilbo slightly shook his head as if to clear the cobwebs out before he found his voice back once more. 

*You… why did you do that?” 

Bofur was clearly certain that the lovely flush had to go down the entire body of his Hobbit by the now and sniggered a little at the thought. Again he simply opted for nodding. “Because I wanted to. Ye looked far too tempting to not do so, Bilbo.” His mien grew somber. “What I mean is that I wanted to do so since a while already to be honest. For us Dwarves such is pretty common and nothing to think about much but I know a little about yer Hobbit people and for them it is not. 

I figured out pretty fast that ye live alone because of such an condemned inclination as ye called it.

Wanted ye since I saw ye in the hallway of yer Smial. Clad in that cute housecoat and looking mightily disturbed at the invasion of the lot of us into yer peaceful home. But figured that ye would not want a simple Miner and Toymaker like me and neither would be comfortable with the entire thing to begin with.” 

He sighed slightly depressed but refused to let go on Bilbo as long the Hobbit did not pull away from his grasp first.  
“Wanted at least to try me luck, I did. Could have a prince with yer manners and all and the cute looks. Hell, Even Fili talked about it that he finds you attractive and the lad was talking about it to try his luck on ye! Made me a bit miffed with it and sorry Bilbo but I simply wanted to take me chance while I could to make ye consider me?” 

Bilbo didn’t know what to think anymore at All! 

At the pleading look of Bofur he could only shrug helplessly and utterly bewildered. To hear such as Fili having such an interest in his simple self was actually flattering and frightening all in one. Not that he disliked the lad, Bilbo just couldn’t see him in that way, ever. 

Bofur on the other hand… Bilbo gulped audibly and felt a new flush run over his skin. 

He… was fond of the cheerful Dwarf that currently held him like a precious gem. Very fond to be true here but Bilbo was too used to hide his attractions to his own sex away from prying eyes to respond in any kind to the Dwarf at the moment. 

Bofur seems to sense that and leaned back a little to give the flustered hobbit some space to clear up his thoughts. He maintained his hold on Bilbo thought. 

Suddenly something that Bofur had said connected with his slowly returning ability to think clearly. It made Bilbo look sharply up at Bofur with a dark scowl. One finger waggling in front of the Dwarves’ nose, Bilbo scolded already away before Bofur knew what had hit him. 

“What nonsense is this!” He asked rather upset the stunned looking Dwarf. “What foolish notion is that to think yourself lower as any other here?!” When Bofur stuttered softly away under the mighty glare that he now received from the normally so calm Bilbo, the Hobbit stopped him mid sentence. 

“Bofur, I never want to hear it again that you speak so lowly of yourself! You are not, just a Miner or Toymaker, you are not something less than others here just because you sport no big name or line as your people and the Humans and elves seem to be so fond of to use. You are Bofur and that’s enough, at least for me.” 

He huffed angrily. 

“I never understood why the big folks and Dwarves obviously too are so fond of it to discriminate their peoples worth by birth in family lines or petty titles instead of who they are and their characters, Bofur. 

Your mighty royals would have to dig out their pretty Gems all by themselves if it wouldn’t give such people like you who do that for them and when cut, their blood is just as red as any others so, what is the point?” 

He looked at the a bit flustered looking Bofur who did not have an answer for Bilbo himself.  
Shaking his head at the sight with a soft smile, Bilbo finally calmed down a little. 

“You say that I am something special, of more state as you but that is wrong. I am just a simple hobbit and nothing more. If anything I should question why someone so full of life like you would want a morose mouse like me to begin with!” 

This time Bofur sputtered at the words of Bilbo and before the Hobbit could react, the Dwarf had easily lifted him from his seat on the bench and onto his lap with his much bigger strength. Once he had Bilbo there, Bofur wrapped his arms around the smaller form easily and trapped Bilbo in his hold. Then he buried his nose in the soft curls of the Hobbit with a face splitting wide and happy smile. 

To the surprised Hobbit it felt like steel bands had closed around his body and try as might, Bofur let not go on him again.  
Tugging a bit on the arms holding him Bilbo scowled a bit. “What are you doing now you foolish Dwarf? Let go on me!” 

But Bofur did just ignore the Hobbit for the moment. 

He couldn’t help it! When he finally spoke, his words send a shiver down Bilbo’s spine and made his Hobbit gulp again. 

“Soo,” He drawled slowly out in a husky voice. “does that mean that ye would consider my want to court ye? Did I get that right… Bilbo?” The Hobbit in question seated in his lap and grasp froze to a statue like weight in his alarm of having been found out. Above Bilbo’s head Bofur laughed softly into his soft curls when he noticed this. 

“Uhhm… maybe?” Bilbo finally dared to utter. 

Another soft laugh into his hair was all the warning Bilbo got before Bofur settled his chin contently on his ducked down head while his strong arms closed around Bilbo’s frame more securely as before. The Miner nosed his curls softly before he moved his head so he could whisper softly into Bilbo’s cute elf like pointy ears in soft, hot puffs of air that had the Hobbit shudder wildly. 

“Now that is nice to know, that’s sure! And since we cleared that up let me tell you that I will not let you go without a fight again, my dear Hobbit. I am not such a fool that your fellow Hobbits obviosely have been and neither am I stupid enough to not set my claim on ye while I can when someone like Fili is out to gain my price! The lad, as much I love him, can go and woo an Ork for all I care but I will not let him get you while I have a chance to keep you for myself!” 

Softly turning Bilbo’s head around so they could look at each other Bofur made certain to secure Bilbo’s gaze to his before he continued uncharacteristically calm and sober. 

“then let me tell thee, Bilbo Baggins, son of Bungo and Belladonna hereby I ask thee for the right to court thee properly in the manner of my people. Will thee grand me my pledge?” 

So, what should any respectable Hobbit like Bilbo do, other as to grand such a courteously asked question? When seeing such an earnest look directed at him from someone that he had liked secretly for a while now? 

Gulping down a new dry lump in his troth Bilbo finally carved in and nodded shyly. 

“That, Master Bofur you may do so then, if that really is your wish.” He whispered softly, feeling somehow as if he had agreed to more than he could chew and feeling positively giddy none the less about it! 

Looking into Bilbo’s eyes for a short while longer, Bofur finally nodded sharply then a genuine smile broke out on his face. 

“Than it is final; ye are being courted by the silly me from now on and Mahal may help me, but I will get ye to stay with me in the end or die trying!” 

At these passionate words, Bilbo rapidly flushed from head to toe under the laughing yet determined gaze of Bofur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you, don’t come running to me and complain about the amount of fluff in this chapter! Suryallee


	4. Part four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok; a little foreword is in order; I needed to write this out so I could wrap up the darn Hobbit story and go on with the…fluff…coughs… However, this is still not a beta version. I apologize in advance for changing the story of the Hobbit (So everyone did survive) playing around with poor Bard (I always liked him in the original story) and I really hope that J.R.R.Tolkien does not come back to life one day to sue me for rewriting his story this way >.

Gandalf never found the time to ‘Talk‘ with Bilbo in the following day. 

The next day they had to break up camp by Beorn early and Gandalf had to leave the Dwarves and one Hobbit shortly after, on the rim of the looming Mirkwood. The next days that followed nipped every romantic feeling or whatever else right in the bud.   
If it wasn’t hunger then it was spiders as huge as Beorn’s bears. 

Then… came the elves and an unfortunate ride on barrels for Bilbo, which ended with him falling ill right after. 

Bofur looked with a depressed feeling in his gut, down onto the feverishly thrashing Bilbo in the bed in the rooms given to them from the Laketown folk. He looked much too thin and too small in the huge and for humans made bed. Almost as white as the sheets he was, only the cheeks flushed red from the high fever he suffered. Bofur’s nails looked a mess, since he had all but gnawed them off to the flesh in his worry about his smallish Hobbit. 

Across from his chair on the other side of the bed sat Fili, almost looking the same as Bofur. Both had over the last weeks fought over Bilbo’s affections whenever they could. 

The prince had not taken well to it that Bilbo had allowed Bofur to court him and not Fili. Nevertheless, all of their rivalry was forgotten once they saw in what state Bilbo was in after their unexpected barrel escape. Fili had even promised to give up his mopping if Bilbo would only open his eyes again and damned say something! 

The Hobbit was now out since two days and worried not only the two with his constantly high fever. 

Thorin was seen hovering at the door more and more often. Always when he did so, Dwalin wasn’t far behind and where Dwalin went, Balin naturally was to find too. Oin had chased them all out of the house for more than one time already in his irritation at their hovering around poor Bilbo. The lad needed peace, rest, and not a bunch of overly fretful Dwarves to smother him! 

Bard of Laketown watched the entire event with mirth. 

The Major was annoyed at the fact that Thorin run out on him on his feast when Bilbo fainted and left him there gapping like a fish. The archer sniggered at the memory. His father had often told the man how protective Dwarves could become over people or things that they saw as theirs to take care of. The Hobbit unquestionably fell under that category and he luckily knew about a way to lessen the fears of the Dwarven King in exile and his group to loose the Halfling to the illness that had taken hold on the poor small warrior. 

Actually, he had just given the medical concoction of his mother to their healer, Oin. 

It was an old family recipe against these kinds of sicknesses that affected the lungs and brought out high fever pitches. However, what was more important was that it worked almost every time without doubt. Sure, it tasted awful and was a syrupy draught that was hard to swallow but it did its intended job. 

Sitting down to have an ale in the common room, provided by the Dwarves he waited for what he was in no doubt about it that it was soon to come.   
He wasn’t disappointed, three hours later happy shouts filled the house out. By now, Bard was too drunk to care any longer. Dwalin could really drink one under the table! And while the Dwarves celebrated the down going fever of their small friend, Bard snored away on the table. A blanket tucked around his shoulders from a thoughtfully and thankful Dori when he saw the tall human slumber away there. 

Meanwhile Dwalin and Bard had tried to drown themselves in ale, Bilbo’s fever broke. 

Much to Oin’s relieve the medicine of the tall and a little wild looking man had helped better as he would have ever expected it. Currently he tried to scribble down what the archer had told him that the concoction contained. Hopefully he had not forgotten a plant mentioned! This stuff worked wonders on sicknesses like Bilbo’s. He made a list of herbal remedies that he knew the archer would like to know about and that would aid his people better as theirs in exchange for the selfless gift of his people. 

Checking Bilbo over once more, the healer left the room with the sleeping Bilbo and now equally out of all, Bofur. The Toymaker had curled himself around Bilbo in his exhausted sleep. Oin left him there. Bofur could not catch the illness from Bilbo and his warmth would keep Bilbo from falling into another danger. 

That of cooling down too fast. 

Fili had in the meanwhile found the ale a level lower in the house in the bar and drowned his rejection in it. His brother by his side and not far behind, as always. The happiness he had seen in the eyes of the Miner and Toymaker when Bilbo’s fever went finally down had him stop his pining after Bilbo all at once. 

How was he supposed to react otherwise in the face of the realization that Bilbo obviously was Bofur’s one and only? 

It was just not fair! And Fili slurred out as much when Kili finally hauled his brother up with him to go to bed. Once his head hit the pillow, Fili resolved himself to a strange resolution that had his equally tipsy brother giggle madly when he garbled it out. One finger in the air above his head that was face down in the cushion he slurred in his sternest voice; 

“Alwrighf, Iwf Bowur haws gottem Bilbro tfhen I willy go an’ get ma’ owfn cuty lill’ Hobwit!” 

Needless to mention that his slur was almost not to decipher by anyone else as his brother… 

With that thought in mind, Fili finally shifted in his bed and fell asleep. In the other bed, Kili was already out like a light. Still giggling in his sleep from time to time and drooling on his pillow when not. That was how Thorin finally found both and headshaking at the mumbles of Fili about cute hobbits and Kili’s about huge cuddly bears he tucked them both in and left quietly again. 

They would have the hangover from hell tomorrow but that wasn’t his problem. Both were old enough to not drink each other into coma. He wasn’t their babysitter, he was their uncle and no longer responsible for their idiocies. Rubbing his face, he went into his own bed.   
Thorin only hoped their words meant not that he had to watch out for strange bedfellows of them in the future! 

Bilbo awoke from the feeling of someone’s hand combing soothingly through his sweat soaked hair in the next morning. 

Bofur’s relieved face was the first that his eyes saw when he opened them. The room had been darkened down some by curtains so that the bright morning sun would not disturb his sleep. Once seeing his Hobbit’s eyes flutter, Bofur had leaned in so he would not miss the moment when Bilbo opened them. 

“Hija! Back under the living?” 

His smile was infectious and Bilbo found himself smile weakly back at the cheerful face of Bofur in a mere moment. His voice was raspy from the fever when he croaked out; “Yes, water please?” He was sat up and comfortably leaned against the headboard of the bed and had a mug with tea set upon his lips before he ended his last word. 

The herbal tea with honey soothed his sore throat and settled the sick feeling in his stomach. 

“Sorry, Bilbo but Oin had me promise that I give ye this mixture once ye awake. It tastes awful and smells bad but it helped to get yer’ fever down fast!” Bilbo didn’t complain about the taste, actually he tasted nothing right now and smelled nothing either. Both nose and taste buts quite dead and out of working for a while from the cold he had caught. He told Bofur as much what had the Dwarf laugh heartily. 

“Lucky chap! If me needed that stuff, I would kill myself. I took a drop to taste it and nearly gagged! But it helps and that’s what’s counting.” 

Bilbo just nodded and went on to eat a light breakfast with the help of Bofur. He was still too weak to manage alone. Soon after that and a trip to the privy in the arms of the Dwarf, Bilbo’s room was invaded from various members of his Dwarven company. Only to have Oin chase them all out with a broom, of all things and where had he found that old looking thing anyways, after a few minutes again. 

The healer huffed once all were out of the room again and mumbled something about foolish Kings and idiotic Dwarflings under his breath before he stomped out of the room to give them a verbal trashing for disturbing poor Bilbo when he was still not well enough for so many visitors at once! Outside, Bilbo could hear him not much later, shouting angrily at the others. 

Shaking his head the Hobbit snuggled back under his warm blanked and into his new shawl, courtesy of Ori and fell asleep again soon. 

When Bofur slipped inside the room again after a few more minutes, Bilbo was already sleeping peacefully again. Oin had even chased him out in his ire! Told him to take a bath, curse it and get something into his stomach before he fell ill too. Not that Bofur complained about it for once, the healer had been right, Bilbo still needed rest more than anything and rest, he would get.

If Bofur had anything to say about it, that was. 

Pressing a soft kiss into the curls on top of Bilbo’s head, Bofur tucked the blanked securely around the small Hobbit. He settled back into his chair and begun to work on his latest carving again in utter silence so not to wake Bilbo by chance. 

His hobbit needed a sponge bath soon, he thought preoccupied by carving away on what looked to become a beautiful little figurine of a tiny pony and an equally tiny rider with too big feet. 

In the evening Oin deemed Bilbo rested enough to first eat something and then have a sponge bath. The Hobbit managed that alone but asked for help when he needed his hair washed. Bofur did that, to Bilbo's utter mortification. Turned out the Dwarf wasn’t only good with carving things with his hands, the wash was so pleasant that Bilbo fell asleep in the middle of it! 

Much to Oin and Bofur’s amusement. 

Drying it carefully without to jostle the sleepy Bilbo too much, Bofur was faced with a dilemma. Bilbo’s hair had grown a lot since the beginning of their journey. Now it fell constantly in the face of him and already it reached over his ears. Not thinking for long, Bofur wove the strands into two tiny braids before long. The most he left untouched by any braiding but left and right of the face he placed two braids that indicated a courting and who did the courting to Dwarves should they see Bilbo with them. 

One was one of his customary patterns of braiding, the stile easily to recognize from each Dwarf in and around Laketown. Marking him as Bilbo’s intended. 

The other was the typical signal braid of one that was courted by someone else and told any other suitors off once they laid eyes on it. Well, any Dwarves that was, but the humans around here still knew about those braids too and Bofur took a darkly pleasure in the thought that they would now stay away from His Hobbit! 

Better not taking chances, the softly humming Dwarf thought and clasped both braids firmly in place with his own iron clasps.   
Downstairs Fili nursed the stepmother of all hangovers over a cup of herbal tea, provided kindly by Oin.   
Across from the heir of Thorin, Bard and Kili did the same. Equally miserable expressions on their faces as he wore it currently, all three made a wretched picture to the on looking Thorin. Then Dwalin stumbled down the stairs and made the quartet of recovering drunkards complete. He laughed softly at the sight and went to get himself a hearty breakfast. 

Still chuckling. 

Earlier this morn Oin had given them all, minus the still asleep Dwalin, a tongue lashing about crowding Bilbo’s bedside. Well, and minus Bard too who had been woken up from the voice of the healer and had come down from where Dori and Balin had stashed him into a bed upstairs the night before to see what the commotion was about. 

Not fully awake and feeling very sick still, he had been hugged near dead from an overly enthusiastic group of Dwarves once he stepped into the room.   
What ended with it that he had to use a nearby bucket to throw up rather fast. Dwarven hugs were not healthy for hangover humans in the morning. At least that got them off, of him fast; he surmised and had dragged his sorry self over to a chair and a table as soon as he had washed up.   
By now, he felt marginally better. 

The tea of that healer could make Oin rich here in Laketown, Bard was certain, if not also in every other town on Middle Earth if the healer ever decided to sell it! It was the best hangover cure Bard had come across so far and that said something, since he was a regular of hangovers in the late, since the Major had been elected. 

That man was the pain in Bard’s ass! 

Not literally, thank the Valar for small mercies, but he made the life of the last heir of the former ruler of Dale miserable wherever he could. Eying the Dwarves, Bard barely hid a smirk. He had the bad, bad feeling that the Thorin fellow would teach the Major one or two lections of his own in the near future and wholeheartedly looked forward to it. 

They were going to Erebor, Bard was sure and once they did, he would follow them! 

They had to get rid of that Dragon, it was poisoning their lives with its mere presence and Bard wanted his hometown back. Maybe, if he were smart and cunning enough, Thorin would be amenable to the thought of having him help? The nephew of him was their only archer of the group and maybe, they could need a second? If the Firedrake ever woke up and went out of the mountain again, Laketown would burn down to cinders like Dale and Bard could not let that happen, Major or not, Bard was still responsible for his people in the town. 

His people still owned the worm a world of pain too. 

Setting his jaw, Bard finally stood and sought out Thorin Oakenshield to talk with him about his ideas. About the Major and whatever else Bard knew that would be of interest for the King to be aware about. Thorin had a right to know about it all and Bard had begun to genially like the Dwarves that cared about the small member of their group so much. 

Therefore, it came that Thorin found himself with an additional member of his group in the end that actually was useful for once. 

Not like that Wizard that had come and gone whenever the fancy seems to take him to do so. He still grumbled about that, even now, riding his new pony. Bilbo had recovered rather fast from the illness what had astounded not only Bard but the Dwarves as well. They were a sturdy little race, and all had taken notice of that. 

Once the archer saw the braids in Bilbo’s hair, he had made certain to stay the hell away from Bilbo Baggins on their trip to the mountain. 

What had pleased Bofur and the others as well and had confused poor little Bilbo immensely. Still clueless what exactly the new decorations in his hair meant to others that knew about Dwarven customs. Bofur had only told him that they signaled that he had given his consent to Bofur’s courting and that was that. 

He did not know that the one that Bifur had added to the duo of braids meant hands off, to any who knew about the language of braids in Dwarven culture and neither did Bilbo had a clue about it that the entire outfit of his practically screamed ownership of several Dwarven families to the observant observer, like Bard was one. 

With one of those families mentioned, being that of the royal line of Durin no less! 

Bard made certain to be polite and all but to always stay a step away from Bilbo in the next days.   
The major had not been that wise and had earned several growls and barely veiled treats from various members of the company when he tried to come too near to Bilbo for their likening. Dwalin nearly beheaded him with one of his axes by *Cough Accident cough, it slipped soo sorry* when the man didn’t get it after the treats and again tried to talk to Bilbo. 

Bofur made no attempts to hide his jealously and neither his possessiveness and simply took Bilbo by an arm or sleeve and placed him behind him when Humans approached and tried to get close to the cute little fellow of the Dwarves with the well-mannered demeanor. The only ones that could hug and touch Bilbo without to have to fear for their lives were the children and they had taken advantage of that fact rather fast. 

Much to everyone’s chagrin. 

Bard’s son being one of the fastest of that bunch of little menaces that seemingly waited for every opportunity to snatch their Hobbit away from Bofur and co that they could discover. Surprisingly the Dwarves never complained when they did manage to do so again and indulged the children’s whims rather benevolently. 

Bard, however, wasn’t fooled by that for a minute. 

He had seen Bilbo scold Thorin for scowling at a tyke that had tried to hug Bilbo and even being fond of children as only Dwarves could be it, he had to tell them off. They all were highly hazardous when it came down to one single Bilbo Baggins and Bard kept that in mind. On the other hand, it gained him a bid trust and acceptance when they saw him keep in the old traditions and honoring their ways. 

That he wanted to avenge the deaths of Dale’s people had gained him a spot in the Dragon hunting party after many discussions with Thorin and co.   
The King only relented when Bilbo pointed innocently out one time that Dale was now a ruin filled with skeletons like Erebor too, that had him and the others older than Fili, Kili and Ori, stop complaining in the end. They all had seen the burned corpses litter the streets when they had to flee the mountain. Many of them being unfortunate children that had played in the streets… Thorin said nothing anymore to Bards wish to help them after that memory surfaced. 

Turned out the archer was good in helping them to ponies and new gear for the road too. 

Their old one, once more lost and probably now catching dust in Thranduil’s halls. 

The entire group still grumbled about that all the time. At least Bilbo could grab and stash their weapons before he freed them. Fili however had made a vow to never eat an apple again in his life! He had been stuck with the apple cider barrel and the smell had nearly killed the poor Dwarf on his ride down the river. 

Bard had to snigger when he heard that story, madly. 

Once they reached the mountain, they waited for Durin’s Day to arrive. As an outsider, Bard could only marvel at the observations he made in the following days. The entire group of stubborn Dwarves carved immediately once the delicate creature called Bilbo said a single word. Be it mulishly denying to search for fire wood (Kili could suddenly run to gather it once Bilbo gave him as much as a disapproving look) or be it other mundane tasks that no one wanted to do (like washing their hands before dinner) all could suddenly do so once Bilbo asked them. 

Once Bilbo said something, everyone suddenly rushed to do so while trying to not look like they rushed to do so… it was rather funny to watch!   
More than once Bard earned a glare for his badly suppressed laughs but no one dared to say something hence Bilbo would get aware of it. So he got away with it unharmed. All the more surprised was Bard when Bilbo went inside to look at the Dragon for them and that the overprotective group let him that was. 

Bofur nearly ate his hat in his fretting while Thorin paced and Fili sharpened his knifes furiously. Everyone was suddenly busy with doing something to distract them from fretting over one Hobbit. Balin did not; he went resolutely after Bilbo inside to aid the small and brave creature.   
When Bilbo came back, Bard found out that he too had fretted, since his pipe was still unlit and he had tried to puff away and wondered all the time why he couldn’t get a smoke out of it. 

When the Dragon descended onto them all, Bard didn’t think about his pipe anymore. He just grabbed his bow and shoot were Bilbo had said the weak spot was in the armor of the beast. Kili had barely time to tuck the tall human into the secret tunnel entrance with him after Bard had shot the beast before it came already tumbling down and crashed into the mountain side. 

Smaug effectively trapped them inside with his body that wound around itself its death throws. 

For minutes no one said a word then everyone was hollering in joy and victory, Bard no less as the rest. 

When they finally made it outside again through the damaged front gates, all awaited a surprise. 

Turned out, Kili had managed to land an arrow too. It had pierced one eye and had sealed it shut what had helped to distract the beast long enough so Bard could shoot it from the sky. Both bowmen grinned at each other rather proudly of their work. No one complained about it, they had earned it to feel smug about it. 

The hoard was a shock for Bard and Bilbo. 

The latter not so much as Bard, since he had already been here and had seen it but both shared a mutual look of utter astonishment about the unbelieving amount of gold, jewelry, gemstones and all else that they saw. 

They exchanged another, now worried look when the Dwarves begun to show the first signs of Gold-sickness around them. 

Bofur nearly got drowned in the sudden giddy feeling of seeing such an amass of riches but shook himself out of it when he saw the worried looks Bard and Bilbo shared over the suddenly so weird acting Dwarves. Looking around and seeing the mess that had started to affect everyone, he begun to scream so loudly that all looked shocked at the hollering Miner. 

Huffing a tad from the exertion, Bofur waved his arms at the mass of gold and his fellow Dwarves. 

“Stop! Just… look at us! We are all about to succumb to that cursed Gold sickness!” 

That fast did the trick for the most. It took Thorin a bid longer to shake it off as the rest. What irked him immensely, it needed Bilbo, and his nephew’s pleadings to see reason to get though the haze that had begun to cloud his mind to have him get out of its hold again in the end. After that, the king fled the room with a horrified expression and was not seen until the end of the day again. 

That long needed Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror to get his bearings back together. 

Bard didn’t begrudge Thorin that, even he, being human and not dwarf, had to shake the greedy feelings off that preyed on his sanity seeing all that gold. He too left without a word and settled onto one of the balconies over the destroyed gate to sort out his mind. Everyone else did the same as the two in their own ways. Bofur clung to Bilbo for the rest of the day as if the Hobbit was the only thing that kept him from snapping. 

Bifur and Bombur soon followed suit and clutched to the two, never leaving each other out of sight for the reminder of the day. The group of four had settled onto another balcony to have fresh air while they did so, to clear their minds from the gold sickness that had nearly gotten to them. 

Kili and Fili invaded that of Bard and settled near the man in the end. 

Dwalin and Balin settled right outside the old doors to the kingdom together with Oin and Gloin. Dwalin occasionally hitting at the rocks that lay around in his anger to nearly have fallen prey to that cursed ailment of his race. Sometimes joined in by Gloin who muttered darkly curses all the time in Khuzdul.   
Ori, Dori and Nori too vanished inside the mountain like Thorin and weren’t seen just as long. 

“Better now?” 

Bilbo had worriedly fuzzed over his Dwarves all the time they needed to get the attack out of their systems again. Finally, he had settled to alternatively comb through Bifur and Bofur’s hair while Bombur was a solid weight at his back. 

The rotund Dwarf had cried silently into Bilbo’s back until the sun went down. 

All of them seemed to calm down some since the sun had set. Eying the neighboring balcony, he saw that Kili must have climbed halfway into Bards lap at one point while Fili had settled next to the long-suffering man, one arm around his brother. Bard seems to take the clinging Durin’s with dry humor. To judge from the lopsided smile on his lips and the softly patting of the younger of the two on the back. 

He looked like a father with his children to Bilbo who had to laugh softly at the thought once it crossed his mind. 

Well, he mused, Bard was a father, of to two healthy children from what he knew and such behavior as that of the duo was probably familiar to the man. Their eyes shortly met over the distance and both shared a humorous smile before they went back to tend to their charges. When night fell all went back inside the mountain to search for the others, suddenly wanting them near. 

Even Thorin was driven out of his hiding spot from that need and soon was enveloped into the hugs of Kili and Fili. 

This night, all of them slept in a pile of limbs, practically nearly on top of each other. No one wanted to let go on the others nor sleep alone. Bilbo slept peacefully in the arms of Bofur and with Bifur in his front. One time that night the leg of Dwalin woke him with kicking at his feet but that was that. The next morning greeted them all with sunlight. 

All feeling better now, once they had a descent sleep. 

When entering the hoard this time, no one fell prey to the sickness again. Not even Thorin who had feared the worst and had Dwalin promise him to hit him unconscious if the need arose to keep him for that accursed inclination of his line that way. Turned out, he didn’t need to hold to that given word, Thorin managed actually rather fine on his own, luckily. 

Even when Bilbo found the Arkenstone and showed it to Thorin, the King did not succumb, finding the priceless gem suddenly much less precious in the hands of their tiny burglar as he remembered it to be. Maybe it was the wary look in Bilbo’s eyes, maybe the worrisome looks his nephews gave him, Thorin could not really say but suddenly he had the sudden wish to simply throw the stone from his mountain. 

If it caused such worry in the ones he held dear then it wasn’t worth the trouble! 

Taking it rather briskly from Bilbo, he pushed it into a small box and slammed the lid shut with vigor and an ugly curse in Khuzdul that had the ears of his Dwarves ring. After that done, he gave it to Bilbo, for safekeeping. Seemingly, the Hobbit was the only one unaffected from all the riches around here.   
The perfect guardian did that make him for the cursed gem in eyes of the King. 

Thorin slowly got a bad suspicion about the true nature of the fabled stone. Remembering the greed in the eyes of his grandfather only all too clearly now, without the sickness clouding his mind. Thorin couldn’t shake off the feeling that the gem was an equally precarious Bane for his line, as the cursed Balrog had been it in Moria for his ancestor. 

Thranduil could have it for all he cared and fall victim to its lure. 

Better, the elf King than him, or Mahal and stone forbid, Fili and Kili! 

Thorin walked out of the treasure room after that, still cussing up a storm under the awed looks of his Dwarves who had seen the entire affair and heard his mutters about his musings about the gemstone. 

No one said anything about it from there on. 

“I am just glad that he turned out as wise a King that he seemed to be to me when I first met Master Thorin.” Bard lastly told Bilbo and Bofur who stood next to Hobbit with one hand of Bilbo firmly clasped in his much bigger one. At their clueless looks, he elaborated. “I may have killed the beast but he managed to best even that right a moment ago in my humble opinion.” 

“What do you mean by that, Master Bard?” 

Bilbo asked now really confused feeling, the archer and future ruler of Dale. The man shrugged and then turned to face Bilbo and the others who had silently walked closer to hear the exchange. “What I just witnessed is something monumental, I believe. Long since, the line of Durin is said to be cursed to fall victim to Goldlust, it is the curse of them since the fall of Moria as well as you all should know.” Here every Dwarf around Bilbo nodded slowly getting what Bard tried to tell them carefully. 

Bard looked after Thorin again before he gave Bilbo a grave look. 

“Today I witnessed one of that line grow out of that curse and see reason instead to fall under the spell of a gem as the legendary Arkenstone, Master Bilbo! If that isn’t monumental, then what is?” 

That shut every one up for a while. 

The next days Bard went back to Laketown to bring the news of Smaug’s demise and promised aid of Thorin, now King under the mountain to his people, while the Dwarves reinforced the broken gates of Erebor and begun to clear the worst rubble out of the way while doing so. And when not working on that, all helped to search all the many bones together to bury them later in a massive grave that their fellow Dwarves would build for their fallen kindred that the Dragon had killed in the past when invading Erebor. 

To honor their deaths and give them a decent burial within the mountain. 

Bilbo helped with that the most since he was useless in rebuilding the gates or any barriers to keep possible invaders out anyways. Bofur on the other hand was useful in building and repairing and worked night and day on that task now. Only resting when Bilbo told him sternly not to break himself over the task. 

Soon a raven brought Thorin message that Ork’s were coming and that Bard had been told about it too and was currently assembling an army to aid them.   
Even Thranduil was coming to the mountain… the latter news had Thorin throw a fit in his rage. 

He sends a message to Dain for help and growled about it until the two armies arrived at his gates. Bard, he let in almost immediately, much to Thranduil’s displeasure. Thorin even went so far to greet the man friendly with a warm voice and smile. Seeing the heirs of the Dwarf even hug the man, happy to see him alive and well had the elven King, make a sour face. 

But when a Hobbit came out to hug the man too, a hobbit, wearing courting braids of Dwarven stile, Thranduil had to ogle the creature slightly in his surprise. 

The Halfling, however, made no notice of him even being there and went right back inside to come to a stop next to the Dwarf with the strange hat that the elf remembered that promptly hugged the tiny fellow possessively to him. A bid flabbergasted the elven ruler had to shake his head at the sight and odd pairing, next to him, Gandalf groaned seeing the exchange. 

He had come with them once he had reached Mirkwood and had learned about the Dwarves unfortunate stay in the halls of the elven King.   
He had hoped to soothe the waves so to speak, thinking to find Thorin surely deeply locked in the sickness of his kin… what he found instead was surprising the Wizard once again. Not only had Thorin let Bard come with his group, no he now even did greet the man warmly. And to top it all, neither he nor any other Dwarf seemed to have fallen victim to the greed their kin was famous for! 

Gandalf was too shocked to utter a word for some moments, than his eyes zoomed in on Bilbo who stood innocently next to Bofur and his mind begun to turn the rusty wheels. 

What Gandalf finally concluded together had him arch a brow curiously. Could it really be that Bilbo had such an effect on them all that it turned out like this? He wasn’t sure but thought it could be the case. However, what truly shocked Gandalf that badly that he had to keep himself barely from gapping was when Thorin took a box from Bilbo, when Thranduil had the gall to demand reparations from Thorin for the desolation wrought by Smaug, and toss it at the elf unceremoniously. 

“Here Elf, that should compensate you for all the good it will do to you, thought I remember clearly who turned their backs on us and who, not. I hope you will be happy with it, believe it or not but I truly hope so, because you will gain nothing more of me or mine!”   
The miffed elven King opened the box only to stare at the Gem inside with something akin to stunned surprise and beginning greediness that alarmed Gandalf after seeing what was in the box. 

“You gave him the Arkenstone?!?” 

Thorin only nodded. 

“I did, Gandalf. Seeing how greedy he is I believe that the stone will make him happy enough, don’t you think so too?” He gave the Wizard a composed look that had Gandalf shut up and evaluate Thorin anew. What the hell had happened since he was away to deal with the necromancer?! Moreover, since when had Bilbo agreed to wear the courting braids of Bofur? 

Shaking his head, Gandalf steeled himself for a long night of many talks to get down to the bottom of these miracles.   
Beside him, Thranduil did not even hear their exchange, he was too busy to fall under the spell of the Jewel to care and keep track. Thorin on the other hand noticed it and inwardly sighed at the sight. So, he mused, I was right. The Gemstone is cursed. Shaking his head and seeing Gandalf’s looks Thorin waved him inside to have their long overdue talk. 

Suddenly feeling incredibly tired and old. 

The following battle a few days later was horrible for everyone involved. 

Bofur nearly died, twice. One time through an arrow that barely missed something vital and another time when he had to rescue Fili from a hit that would have cut the lad’s troth open and the head nearly off his neck if Bofur had not reacted fast enough. Kili was nearly killed by arrows and had to shielded by Balin and Dwalin that had, like the rest of them, promised Bilbo to stay near the brothers to protect them. 

He had a nightmare before battle, seeing Thorin and the brothers die if they did not stay close together and had them swear to him to stay next to them all the time… 

It rescued not only Fili and Kili but also Thorin in the end. 

When Gandalf learned about the nightmare later he was sure that it had been a warning of the Valar and Thorin, for once, agreed with him in something. After learning, that it had rescued them all to head Bilbo’s foreboding words. He learned later that they all had held off Azog long enough for Beorn making his entrance in the battle and kill the accursed Ork finally. The head was now nailed to the entrance Gate of Erebor. 

And if he had his wish, it would stay there until it had rotted off the gate! 

Dain had personally seen to it for him to nail it there with obvious glee after hearing Thorin’s wish. Not even Bilbo had said something against the barbaric way they handled the reminds of the Ork, to busy with it to glare at it because of Bofur’s many injuries from defending his King and Thorin’s heirs from the pale monster. 

Their normally so peaceful Hobbit had even kicked the head all over the battlefield until Dain rescued it from Bilbo’s treatment to nail it to the gate.   
Not that he had complained about it that Bilbo had used it as his anger management. He had heard enough about the Hobbit to understand. Still, the look in the eyes of the little fellow had even shaken him and that was actually a feat to archive that wasn’t that easy to manage nowadays. 

Bilbo had looked, for the lack of a better wording, malicious and scary. 

Not a combination that suited the small creature in Dain’s eyes but he wisely did not mention that. In contrary to that, the same Hobbit now worried himself sick over the heirs of Thorin and the King and more so over the Miner that had taken a hit meant for Fili and another for Thorin when fighting that pale beast off his King. The malevolent looks were now gone from Bilbo’s face in favor of honest worry and fretting.   
Oin had to sit the little creature down onto the bedding of Bofur to keep him still! 

Hence, he would not accidentally fret himself into an early grave. 

Dain had to chuckle madly at the sight. 

Because once the healer moved on, Bilbo was up again and fretted away. The Miner finally got him to calm down and take a nap besides him on the sickbed. The exchange had Dain nearly down in tears. The little fella was amusing and obviously devoted to the house of Durin as well as the Dwarf that now held the small creature so lovingly with his good arm as if he was the Arkenstone itself for the Miner. The other arm was broken in several places and would need weeks to heal fully. 

The Mattock of the dwarf was leaned next to the bed to the tent plane. Still bloody from the Ork he had fought with it. 

To use a miner tool in battle… Dain shook his head and left it at that. The choice had aided the Dwarf in his fight well from what Dain saw. Being able to fight off the metal arm replacement with it as well as to injure the Ork tremendously with it. Oh well, he thought, it gave worse choices as a weapon from what Dain knew about. In addition, that Dwarf had been one hell of a fighter with it. 

He would never again underestimate the tool again in his life.


End file.
